I am the very model of a General Ambassador
I’ve witty talking, poking Russian bear like matador,
I know hi-tech, press gangs and rules of geopolitics
I quote Sun Tzu, Einstein, Putin and Clausewitz,
I’m loved by Chatham House and the military industry
I plan to win elections first and then to win the world war three
I’ll tell Ukrainian army is the strongest in the world –
So thanks, I guess the world has paid for it a lot.
I’m very good at telling future in privy,
I know nukes, and books, AI and UAV,
In short, for poking Russian bear like matador,
I am the very model of a General Ambassador.
I know mythic history of world wars and alliances,
I’ll tell you, and I urge you, peace is nothing but disastrous,
For national security the counter-offensive
I’m pledging to wage endlessly as diplomat and president.
Not yet, but soon to be Supreme Commander-in-Chief,
I’ll make Ukraine a good barracks to live:
You’ll be conscripted to armed forces by my police,
You’ll never dream about the civilian nonsense of “peace”!
I’ll ask and beg to boost the arms supply,
I’ll ask for troops here on the ground from allies;
In short, for poking Russian bear like matador,
I am the very model of a General Ambassador.
In fact, when I bring glory to Ukraine again,
Having no peace talks without my rifle and “Javelin”,
When I blame civilians for battles that I lost a lot,
Blame the UN for not armed to the teeth like NATO, even close,
When I’ve wage war by diplomatic means so clever –
You’ll say I’m the General Ambassador best ever!
For my military knowledge, my adventurism and populism
Will lead Ukraine with whole the West into apocalypse.
But still, for poking Russian bear like matador,
I am the very model of a General Ambassador.